My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
