ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
