READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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