i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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