i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
