he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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