so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
