I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
