I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
