I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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