Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
