the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
