You're my little dorito
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
