Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
