i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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