I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
