so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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