he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
