u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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