I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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