the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
