remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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