I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
