I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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