Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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