they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
