laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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