i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
