im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
