Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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