My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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