ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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