Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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