Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
