12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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