Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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