Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
