Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think your dad took our porno
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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