did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He shit in the fireplace
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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