Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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