I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
