I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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