just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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