you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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