Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
