Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize