I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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