Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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