worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sext me about skeletons
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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