Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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