we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
