We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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